Judging me, judging you

Don't hide from your shadow.

Don’t hide from your shadow.

I had one of those moments yesterday where I found myself entering into battle with someone I barely know to make it clear that I thought their position on something was wrong, wrong, wrong. I couldn’t believe that they could be so narrow minded, so judgemental, so lacking compassion toward their fellow humans. And then it hit me: I was seeing my shadow self that goes everywhere I do. I too am narrow minded, judgemental and lacking compassion, and that’s OK because the perfect balance of the universe means that I am also open minded, accepting and so very compassionate. Holy wow, did that realisation shake me up!

This is how I reckon it works: our lightness can’t exist without shadows, just like day can’t exist without night. Everything we see in others is a perfect reflection of where we are at. It shows us where in our life we still need to dissolve our fears and beliefs that no longer serve us. It’s a beautiful tool and we should make more use of it.

I made a pact with myself a while ago that whenever I caught myself casting judgement at others, I’d shine the spotlight inward instead and work out what I was reacting so strongly to. We all have shadows. They are the parts of us that we disown and try to hide from the world but I’ve come to realise that in order to get closer to that true deep peace we all crave (well, I know I do), we need to embrace all parts of ourselves, including those that are hard to look at. And boy are they hard to look at.

I felt squeamish as I started dissecting my reaction to this person and I really struggled not to shy away from the icky feelings that came as I worked through it all. What came up for me during this exercise? Fear, mostly. Fear of being too opinionated, of not being open enough and of being a fraud. Once that fun little part of the process was over, I just sat with each of the feelings until I was cool with all of them. I had to eyeball my inner self and hang out in the shadows for a while until they stopped feeling so scary. And they did.

As you most likely already know, I’m a big advocate of using manifestation as a tool to create a life that hums along brilliantly and I also think it’s important to look at things in a positive light. We can’t hide behind glossy affirmations and false smiles though; we have to really feel the support of the higher spirit we speak to and of. Part of this is acknowledging the shade as well as the light, and giving a little nod of acceptance to the pockets of us that we sometimes try to hide.

Laura

4 thoughts on “Judging me, judging you

  1. nessbow says:

    I really connected with this post. A few years ago I worked in a suburb where I had to deal with clients from a range of different cultural backgrounds. I found that I was quite judgmental towards some of my customers, and I was horrified by that. I’d never thought of myself as racist, but here I was, judging people based on their culture and beliefs. When I talked to my supervisor about it, she reassured me by saying that it’s normal to question that which we aren’t used to, and that when I felt that judgment bubbling up, I should ask myself why I feel that way, and whether my feelings are grounded in truth or in something else. It’s really helped, and I feel as though I’m a lot more broad-minded than I used to be.

    Like

  2. thislittlegreenpocket says:

    I’m glad you got something out of the post 🙂

    That’s really good advice that your supervisor gave you. Examining whether or not there is truth to what you are feeling can be tough but it’s worthwhile.

    Like

  3. Big Cousin Kristy says:

    I’ve learned many things as I’ve gotten older, and been lucky enough to live in several different countries, and one of the most important is that people’s opinions are people’s opinions – and everyone is entitled to have them. Unless they’re quite obviously bonkers and think that kicking puppies is a fabulous idea, there is no real value to you in arguing your opinion over theirs. Because you’re entitled to yours, and they’re entitled to theirs.

    People are people the world over, we all worry about the same things and care about the same things. I find it’s better to step back, take a breath, and smile when people declare that they’re right and I’m wrong – you’re generally not going to change peoples minds and I find it’s exhausting trying to explain why “I’m right!”.

    Live and let live – it’s so much easier.

    Oh, and living in Germany has taught me that I’m always wrong and they’re always right. Always. Giggle.

    x

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    • thislittlegreenpocket says:

      Lots of great points, Kristy! I’m getting better at stepping back and acknowledging that they’re just dealing with life the best way they know how, but sometimes I still fall back into old habits.

      Live and let live, indeed.

      xo

      Like

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